in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
COCAINE IS GR8
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