Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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