I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
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