My hair reeks of homosexuality.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Randomize
