can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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