D3 body, D1 cock
Me. At least after what I've been through.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
