That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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