I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
