so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize