I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
