fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
