Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
