I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
