I can tuck mytits in my pants
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
