I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
