why didn't you poke me back
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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