She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
