There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
