your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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