I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
