Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Let's get the cat blown out
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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