Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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