Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
