dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
