You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
