You're completely useless in the revolution.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
