the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
