K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
