you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
