He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
