so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
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