I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
