so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
