doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
