if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
