My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Enjoy the penises
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
