When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
