She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
