Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
he was CRYING into my vagina
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
