I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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