Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Shame is for Republicans.
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