omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I understand Curling. That high.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
