Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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