the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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