Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
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