I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
