btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Betty ford says i'm here all night
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
