I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
