I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
