It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Randomize
