I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
